The Aussie Apprentice

They're currently filming the first series of the Aussie version of The Apprentice. They've also started showing teaser clips for it, which profile the contestants, and it seems that they're going about it in completely the wrong way in a different way. All the ads have had an X-Factor "this is my big chance" feel, rather than the "I'm gonna do whatever it takes" mentalist backstabber vibe we all know and love. Sir Alan is played by Mark Bouris, some lad who made his money setting up a home loans business, and most folk have never heard of him, which is crap and takes half the 'glamour' out of the thing. Presumably there were a fair few folk who knocked them back before they offered it to him, as even I could think of half a dozen numpties who'd be better, and I'm hardly a shining example of Australian ex-pat integration. There's an industry media blogthat did a piece on it and the comments underneath are pretty interesting, seems that one of the contestants posted on there before filming began. Interestingly they say that in the auditions they were told the job would pay 100k, (which is only 50k in pounds) but then the contract says it'll pay 250k, which looks like they were trying to weed out anyone who's already earning more than that (because they're too clever?) and want the thing filled with lower-paid psychos who think their job in telesales is only the first step on their journey to world domination.

Speaking of which, BBC Knowledge here are currently showing (what I think is, but haven't checked for fear of spoilers) last year's UK Apprentice. It's got this complete tool in it called Michael who put on his application that he was a good Jewish boy, got tippled that he wasn't and got chewed out from Sir Alan for it. Though amazingly, despite being a complete fuckwit who does indeed work in telesales and is up there with some of the best Apprentice psychos ever, he's still in and in the latest episode beat Raph the sharply-dressed posho in the challenge where they had to make an advert for tissues. It's amazing and has me yelling at the telly every week. There was some wideboy a few weeks ago who got lobbed over the cowshed after mucking up the photo portrait challenge in Bluewater and it turns out he was a satellite dish fitter! I'm guessing he probably worked for the company that big Al contracts out and a spot on the show was probably offered as some prize to employee of the year, but still, it shows that it's definitely all about the contestant profiling to fit the audience, rather than anyone who might be any use. As is mentioned on the comments on that article, reality show contestants here have to tick various boxes – the middle-aged Aussie battler housewife mum, the young blonde sort, the spiky haired twat, the Chinese one (fit bird a bonus in this category), the older Alf Roberts one, the list goes on… Also, whilst it goes without saying, I'll say it anyway – don't say nowt about who won! I already know who won the latest series thanks to the front page of the Guardian's website. I reckon the (other, taller) wideboy who screams out "That's what I'm talkin' abaahht!" every episode could be in with a shout, but it'll probably be a bird. Coincidently, there was an episode of Bargain Hunt: 'Famous Finds' on recently where Badger was one of the celebrity guests. Anyway, back to work...